It should not be a forever moment, if it brings bile to my throat, my skin begging to shed like a reptile, a closet to hide in, a bottle of wine. These episodes of disgust and fear assault my system raping the pleasant passages into submission. The monster wins again. This deity of destruction always hovering, a cloud of piss obstructing my view.
How do I kill this monster? Do I capture it and push it into a deep, dark, grave? Do I throw away all physical reminders, and utter a mantra of it's nonexistence? Do I keep up this exhausting battle of guilt and loathing?
It is time to follow a different road with purpose- not desperation- keeping ahead of the beast. Guilt washed with acceptance, proximity banned with detachment, good kicking evil into the stink of its own rotting hole.
There is light just ahead.......
How do I kill this monster? Do I capture it and push it into a deep, dark, grave? Do I throw away all physical reminders, and utter a mantra of it's nonexistence? Do I keep up this exhausting battle of guilt and loathing?
It is time to follow a different road with purpose- not desperation- keeping ahead of the beast. Guilt washed with acceptance, proximity banned with detachment, good kicking evil into the stink of its own rotting hole.
There is light just ahead.......
1 comment:
Perhaps you should invite the monster in. Offer a cup of tea. Chat about its home. Eventually, it may say, "Thanks for the tea, but it's time for me to go."
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