California into the light

It has been thirty years since I have stood on the sands of Imperial Beach looked into the expanse of ocean blue and felt that freedom that only the waves, the light, the open space can give you. It brings the echoes of thousands of days wrapped tightly in a life too structured, too obligated, too small to feel the air.

Seizure no more, I'm only dreaming

Well my holiday is almost over and freedom from seizure drugs and the fear of not taking them is looking very promising. I am not showing abnormal brainwaves, just a very inventive imagination and hypnogogic hallucinations,at least it sounds impressive from the narcolepsy, as are most of my symptoms even the bodily function ones.
Though I felt guilty taking a bed from the real patients, my wonderful doctor just explained that I was here for a diagnostic evaluation and it was a success. I would highly recommend Henry Ford Hospital and the staff to anyone having seizure or neurological problems, very impressive.
I am grateful for health insurance, doctors that listen, nurses that are kind and technology that has given answers. I'm also glad my Shingles are healing and they took the sign off my door about cautionary contact with contaminated patient : )

Wired Melon

As I lay in bed electrodes dancing atop my thinning gray hair I can only blame myself for this voluntary admission into a neurological amusement park. I have relentlessly been seeking an answer to the person, who is me. My brainwaves always jumbled, confused gray matter, in a bruised soul. Invisible broken wires leap out like the phantom springs of a broken watch. A warped main board is setting false alarms with a metastasized frenzy concealing amorphous parasites on the neuron pathway. Verbally incapable to accurately describe the odd physiological responses of my weary body, I stutter incoherent ramblings when questioned by medical staff. Guilt is beginning to envelope me, an anomaly of symptoms and diagnosis, an outsider of questionable status, an interloper in a closed culture.

Stop...gain composure...insight...go beyond narcissism...

I think of my favorite quote by Einstein "There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle" The brain is surely a miracle even mine.