Be nice

Almost everyday when I arrive at work I am greeted by a smiling young man. He opens the door for me without asking and tells me how nice I look that morning. No matter what has preoccupied my brain, I stop and thank him. I feel lighter and brighter and yes, I do feel I must look at least presentable, if he says it’s so. I wish more people were like this willing to be generous without expectation, without invitation.
Perhaps that is why, I don’t understand why people become so annoyed with those we come in contact with daily. How or why can they make it so personal? They forgot you asked for dressing on the side, where is my third cup of coffee? I asked for it after my meal. I want it now! They won’t be happy with their tip. That cashier is being slow on purpose. I really hate it when I get those foreign people on the phone when I need help with my cable. They keep adding fee after fee at my bank. I asked that guy and he was rude and I told him where he could take his bank....

Step back: It is a job for them, a job that probably used to be done by three people for more money and with benefits. They are not on a personal mission to ruin your day. They were less than friendly, forgetful, maybe they were up the night before with with a sick child, aging parent,on a huge drunk, who knows? You don’t know any more about them, than they know about you. Maybe they think you are a jerk because you are staring in space not answering their friendly chit chat. They are not telepathic no insight into your life.

Relatives are far crueler saying whatever they feel under the guise, you are always family. It is acceptable to dismiss politeness, tact and anything resembling how you would treat a coworker or casual friend. The closer the relative the more callous the words. They cut deep and often and you learn to make armor. Some people are very good at making armor. This is unfortunate. The words will then cling to shields like magnets.

Be nice like Michael, even when he and I know it’s not always true, that I don’t look nice at all.

We all need this for someone to tell us they see us.

They are glad we here today.